" कठै - मतलब मान्छे! "

शून्य समय

बिपरीत लिँगी

मानब अस्तित्वको एउटा 

एकदम निजी समय ।

पंचतत्वको असिम मिश्रण 

उ िनजी समयको पूर्ण उपभोगमा छ,

गगनतत्वको छानोमुनि

भूमितत्वको साहारा लुटछ, 

अग्नितत्वको शक्ति लियर

जलतत्वको प्रवाह गर्छ,

अनी, वायुतत्वको बेगसँग 

सोख पिँेउछ, मन्द जिँउछ । 

अब कथा शुरु हुन्छ । 

एकचोटि, तप्का स्खलन 

रामापिथेकस- नयाँ अस्तित्वको जन्म,

बिकशित रामापिथेकस

चिच्च्याँउछ, कराँउछ- वा झैँ गर्छ !

अनी, पञ्चतत्वलाई अँज्ञात धन्यबाद दिन्छ 

पहिलो प्रहारको भोजन गर्छ । 

दोश्रो प्रहारको भोजनमा जुट्छ 

केही लुटाँउछ, केही लुट्छ, 

केही फुटाँउछ, केही फुट्छ 

मतलब- जुट्छ, लुट्छ अनी फुट्छ । 

अन्तिम प्रहारमा उपादेयता घट्छ 

त्यो पञ्चभोगपछी, शुन्य समय बढ्छ,

बुद्दत्वो पाएझैँ, लमतन्न लड्छ 

मतलब- घट्छ, बढछ, अनी लड्छ । 

पञ्चतत्वको समाधिमा, रामापिथेकस खै के गर्छ

अस्तित्वको संघर्षमा, आधा जिँउछ-आधा मर्छ,

शुन्य समय, बिपरित लिंगी, निजी चीजमा फेरी पर्छ 

मतलब, पर्छ, गर्छ अनी मर्छ । 

बौलाहा प्रकृति । 

कठै मान्छे ।।  

  

छुद्र भावना

एउटा आश, पैन्ट लगाउने !
अर्को आश, जुत्ता लगाउने !
आश न हो, साला फेरी पलायो,
यो चाँही, साइकल चलाउने ।

अब त शहर जान्छु ।
झन धेरै पैसा कमाउछु ।
भट्भटे चढ्छु
चस्मा लाँउछु
कपाल पाल्छु
टुप्पी लुकाउछु !
बाल भो ।
जात जानी होइन केरे ।
तेइपनी म त आधुनिक ठिटो !

लु भएन,
अब त अम्रिका जान्छु !
एस एस, ओके ओके, थान्कु थान्कु ।
धैत, प्राक्टिस पुगेन !
झल्यास्स भयो केटा !
रक्सी खायो भने ईंग्लिश खुल्छ !
वाज्जप माइट !
हाहा, ईंग्लिश फरर !!!

हेल्लो, यू गिब मी वोर्क, आइ डु समथिङ !
यू गिब मी मनि, आइ डु यनीथिङ !
ओके ! क्यान यू वोर्क १८ आवरस अ डे ?
या या, थान्कु थान्कु !
केटो दङ !! मनमनै फुरुङ हुँदै सोचँयो !
साला, रक्सी खाए ईंग्लिश आउनी,
नेपालीमा पटक्कै बोल्न नपर्नी !
काम गर्‍यो पैसा आउनी,
डलरको भाउ कैले नघट्नी !
पैसा, पैसा, पैसा !

आजकल पैसा धेरै कमाछ रे,
कोसैलाई दु:ख पर्‍यो भन्दिनु !
उस्ले तिमीलाई 'पेन्नी पेन्नी' दि- दिन्छ !
बद्लामा तिमी उस्को नातेदार हुनु पर्दैन !
तिमी भावनामा विश्वाश नगर बस,
उस्लाई भावना हजम हुँदैन !
सक्छौ भने फिस्स हाँस !
तिमी कस्तो ह्यान्ड्सम भन्देउ,
तिम्रो कपाल कस्तो बबाल भन्देउ !
धेरै नसके, दुई चार पेन्नी 'सिवोर' दिन्छ !
अनी बिर्सेंर पनि उस्लाई ' वोर्कोहोलिक ' नभन !
किनकी उ ईंग्लिश बुझ्छ, अनी रिसाउछ !
बद्लामा, तिम्रो 'पेन्नी' खुस्किन्छ !

कुरा टुंगाउछु म ।
यहाँ सम्बन्ध 'बेश्या' भकी छे,
भावनाको आबरणसँग पोइल जान्छे !
आफ्नत्वोको आधार खोज्दा खोज्दै,
हर सम्बन्ध लाई उ टुहुरो मान्दछे !
सम्बन्ध जो बेश्या भकी छे
एउटा नयाँ  धून पाकी छे ।
ताल मिलाउछ एउटा ,
उ नाच्छ छम, छम, छम छम ।

खान पुगेर दिँदाको आनन्द !

जेनतेन 'खान पुगेर दिन नपुगेको' मैले आज रु ५५०० को हाराहारीमा (£ ३९.१८)हेल्पनेपालले शुरू गरेको १० करोडको परोपकारी अक्षय कोषको खातामा जम्मा गरेको छु । त्यती जाबो रकम सहयोग गरेर पनि ठुलो कुरो लेख्यो यो मान्छेले भन्ने लाग्न सक्छ हजुरहरुलाई । तर, मैले यो कुरा पोस्ट गर्दै गर्दा आफ्नो सहयोगको प्रचार-प्रसारको बर्णन नभएर, कसरी त्यो रकम दिने हिम्मत जुटाउन सकें भन्ने कुराको 'आइडिया शेएर' गर्ने प्रयास गर्दै छु । हिम्मत यसकारण कि मेरो आर्थिक हैंसियत रु. ५५०० सहयोग गर्ने बर्गभित्रको होइन।

मेरो 'आइडिया': म जुन ठाउँमा 'कस्टमर सर्भिस एडभाईजर'को काम गर्छु त्याँहा एउटा 'Shaz Islam' नामको अत्यन्त मिलनसार र कोमल मनको मित्र काम गर्छ । एकदिन उस्को आठ घण्टाको 'शिफ्ट' जरुरी परेर मलाई 'कभर' गर्न गरेको अनुरोध स्वीकारे बापत भोलीपल्ट 'चालिस पाउन्ड' हातमा राख्दै भन्यो, 'बिष्णु, प्लिज डोन्ट से नो - दिस इज माइ वे टु से थ्यांक यू।'

आँफुले गरेको कामको पैसा तलबमा पाउँने हुनाले लिन सक्दिन भनेर लाख जित्ने कोशीस गर्दा पनि साथी नमानेपछी मैले सो रकम हेल्प नेपाल लाई दिने मनमनै सोँचेपनि आँफु रित्तिएको बेला हात परेको ४० पाउन्ड आफ्नै गर्जो टार्दा सकियो । तर, मेरो त्यो सोँच 'ख्याल ख्याल' नभएर  भित्री मनदेखी आएको सोँच थियो । आज तलब आयो, अठोट पुरा गरें । मेरो मन खुशी छ ।

अब तपाईंको 'आइडिया': तँपाइ देश या बिदेश जाँहा हुनुहुन्छ, पक्कै पनि निकै मेहनतका साथ काम गर्दै हुनुहुन्छ । कती पढ्दै हुनुहुन्छ, कती पढाउदै हुनुहुन्छ होला । कतीले सोँचे अनुसारको काम पाउनु भएको होला या गर्दै हुनुहुन्छ होला । कतीले सपनामा पनि नसोँचेको काम गर्दै हुनुहुन्छ होला । तर, यी सबै परिस्थितीबाट एकैछिन बाहिर निस्केर हेरेंउ भने हामीले देख्ने छौ आफ्नो परिस्थितीबाट बिश्राम लिनको लागि हामी कती डलर, दिराम, पाउन्ड या रुपँया धुम्रपान या मध्यपानमा खर्चीरहेका हुन्छौ । अब एकदिन मन बाँधेर हेरौ, तपाईंले बिश्राम लिदा खर्चिने रकम एक्लै या साथीभाई मिलेर हेल्प नेपालको सामाजिक कार्यको लागि भनेर जम्मा गरेर सहयोग गरेर हेर्नुस्: केवल एकदिन!! कुनैदिन सोँचेको भन्दा धेरै काम गर्नुहोला, अन्दाज गरे भन्दा बढी कमाइ भएको दिन पर्ला !! जुनसुकै दिन होस । तर एकदिन - कम से कम एकचोटि प्रयास गर्नुस् ! त्यो सहयोग गरेबापत तपाईंले महसुस गर्ने आनन्द नितान्त फरक अनी अकल्पनिय हुनेछ । किनकी तपाईंको त्यो एकदिनको 'फरक बिश्रामले' धेरैको जिबनमा 'फरक पार्नेछ'। एकचोटि 'आँटेर' त हेर्नुस् । म त फेरी अर्को प्रयास गर्नेछु ! :)

उत्तर नभएको प्रश्न !

किन हामी बिदेश छौ? यहाँ हरेक ब्यक्तीको उत्तर फरक हुन्छ यधपी मुलभूत सार भने एउटै हुन्छ । २२ बर्षको ले एम. बि. ए. गर्न पनि बिदेश आको छ, ४५ बर्षकोले झन बढी उत्साहको साथमा उही एम. बि. ए. गर्दै छ। २२ बर्षको विद्यार्थी कोसैको प्यारो छोरो वा छोरी हो त ४५ बर्षको विद्यार्थी केही 'बिदेशका कर्णधार' को पुज्य पिता हो । यी दुबै बर्गका 'संघर्सरत' हरुको आफ्नै परिस्थिती छ बिदेश आउनु को ।

"तर मान्छे भाका फेर्न खप्पिस हुँदा रछन गाँठे!" एकदिन बसमा यात्रा गर्दा  एउटा नेपालीले अर्को लाई घोचपेच / कुरौटे पारामा गफ हाँक्दै गर्दा सुनेको वार्तालाप ।
अर्कोले भन्यो, 'किन र, कल्ले भाका फेर्यो फेरी ?
'चाइनिजले त घर नछोड्ने रे नि !' पहिलो फिस्स हाँस्यो ।

बाँकी कुरा के भयो सुन्न सकिन किनकी म झर्नु पर्ने टेसन आयो । तर पछी यसो घोत्लिने प्रयास गरे । साथीहरु बिदेशी जिबनको एउटा महत्वपूर्ण पाटो जुन एउटै घरमा मिलेर बस्नु पर्ने बाध्यता हुन्छ तेस्मा मिलेर बस्न नसकेको कुराको आभास भयो ।

अर्को दिन कामबाट घर फर्किदै गर्दा दुईटा जवान नेपाली युबक हरुको वार्तालाप सुन्ने मौका पर्‍यो ।
'कुरै मिल्थेन यार, जैले एक टुक्रा मासु छोडेर हिन्दिने त भांडा माझ्न पर्छ भनेर ।' एउटाले सुनायो ।
'फ्रस्टु बनाको भएर आफ्नो बाटो लाग भन्दिस अनी ।' अर्कोले बुझ्न खोज्यो ।
'भन्देको तर झन घाटा लाग्यो नि , मेरो हेड्फोन टप्काएछ, समिपको त झन दामी स्पिकर लिएर गएछ' । बखान सुनायो ।
'खुट्टा काट्छ भेट्यो भने' हल्का खित्किदै भन्यो अर्को ले ।

एकदिन नेपाली होटेल मा 'मम' खान गको, त्याँहा काम गर्ने एउटा साथी ले सुनायो ।
'यसो एक, दुई क्यान बियर भको भये नि हुन्थ्ह्यो नि, साथीहरु त दुई फुल जेडी लिएर आउनी अनी रक्सी आफ्नै खान्छु स्न्याक्स को बिल तिर्छौ पो भन्छ बा!' हल्का झोक्यो।
'हाहा, हो र ?' मलाई मज्जा लाग्यो कुरा सुनेर ।
'अनी भनीदिये, हजुर 'एक्जिट डोर' त्यता छ भनेर' । सन्तोष प्रकट गर्‍यो जनकपुरको मित्र ले ।
'बिचरा! किन 'हर्ट' गरेको त यार, सर्भिस चार्ज गरेर खान देको भये भई हाल्थ्ह्यो नि, हल्ला गर्न नदीकन' ।  मैले 'सिम्प्याथी' देखाँये।
'कँहा यार ! बर्बाद गर्छ केटा हरु ले, पुरै झगडा गर्दिन्छ त !' हल्का झस्क्यो साथी ।
मैले 'तात्तातो मम' तिरै जोड गरें ।

एकदिन बरीस्टहरुसँगको 'साँझमा' परे म ।
"के गर्नु हजुर, दिनकै सात घण्टा अन्धकार ! के आश गरेर योजना बनाउने ! मन त थिएन नि, तर के गर्नी समयले साथ दियो अनी गत हप्ता मात्रै 'ब्रिटिश सिटिजनशिप' हात पर्‍यो !" पुरै नेता शैलीमा दिये बुढाले हल्का पेग थप्दै ।
अर्को ले 'रेस्पोन्स' गर्‍यो, "दिस इज बिट डिसअप्पोइन्टिङ आएम अफ्रैड! नेपाली पोलिटिक्स रुइन्स नेपाल वान डे !"
पछी बुझ्दा था'लाग्यो , 'आएम अफ्रेड' भन्ने झन पुरानो 'ब्रिटिश सिटिजन' रहेछ ।  

हरेक मान्छेको परिस्थिती बदलिंदो हुने रहेछ । सबैलाई थाहा भको कुरा हो । तर, परिस्थिती बदलिनुमा मान्छे दोषी हुँदैन बरु परिस्थिती आँफै दोषी हुन्छ किनकी परिस्थिती आँफैमा एक परिवर्तनशिल तत्व हो भन्ने कुरासँग सहमत हुन नसकेर मान्छे तनाबमा बाँच्ने गर्छ । एउटा सामान्य परिवारमा हुर्केर, बढेर, अनी पँढेर धेरै हद सम्म सामान्य नेपालीको जस्तो 'डन्डीबियो' र 'मोजाको बल' अनी कनिकुथी 'डम्फु र टिम्फु' गुच्चामानै सिमित रहेको जिबनमा एकैचोटि उज्ज्यालो आँउदा मान्छेभित्र उम्लने रगत स्वतह: बढी तातो हुन्छ । अनी त्यो रक्तप्रबाहले दिने जोश  कुनै एउटा मासु दोकान, म्याकडोनाल्ड, सर्सफाइ वा चौकिदारीमा खर्चेर जे जती आम्दानी हुन्छ तेस्बाट आफ्नो परिस्थिती सहज बनाउन कोही चाहन्छ भने यो तथ्यलाई गलतरूप अर्थाउनुको कुनै तुक हुँदैन।        

जब २०४६ को आन्दोलन जारी थियो, म मेरो गाउँस्थित मन्दिर अगाडिको 'माटे परिसर'मा 'गुलुसुली' हान्नु पर्ने गुच्चा सँग सँघर्सरत थिँए । मलाई के थाहा, त्यो गुच्चाको ठोकाइ सँग नेपालमा बहुदल आउँदै थियो भनेर ! भएजती सबै साथी कम्युनिष्ट थिए । बा 'पेटमै' कांग्रेस ! म बिचरो त्यती खेर देखिको 'अधकल्चो', आजसम्म पनि कुन पार्टीको हुने भन्ने कुरामा 'झोक्रीरहन्छु' । र आज आएर लाग्छ, सामान्य नागरिक कुनै पार्टीको 'स्थाइ' सदस्य हुनै सक्दैन यदी उ सामान्य हैसियतमा जिबन जिउन चाहन्छ भने । म नाथे 'एक भोट' न परें ! बाल फरर !

०४६ पछी जे देँखे, त्यो मैले दोहोर्याइरँहदा 'कुरो दोहोरिन्छ'।  तर पनि, देशमा राजा मरे, राजा बने, राजा भागे' अनी फेरी अर्को ब्यबस्था आयो र त्यो गणतन्त्र भयो । जब गणतन्त्र आयो, म 'टीयु'मा बास्केटबल खेल्दै थिएँ ! ठिकै हो , जीन्दगी भरी 'गुच्चै मात्र खेल्न पनि मिलेन ! एकाध दिन त खेल खेलमै बित्यो आन्दोलन । तर, जब 'परिस्थिती' बदलिंदै गयो, मैले टाउको नदुखाइ भएन ! कती राजाबादी तर 'रैथाने' किर्तिपुरबासीका झ्यालको सिसा रहेनन, कती घरका ढोका रहेनन, कतीका दिन रहेनन, कतिका रात रहेनन । तर सबै बिच जे रहेन त्यो थियो - 'परिस्थिती' - जो सधैं एउटै रहेन । झ्यालका सिसा हरु फेरिए होलान, ढोकाका पल्लाहरु जोडीए होलान, रात शान्त भइसक्यो होला, दिन उज्ज्यालो तर हाम्रो 'परिस्थिती'आज पनि उस्तै छ । मोफसलमा घर हुनेलाई 'काठमान्डू' मा एउटा घर चहिएको छ । 'काठमान्डू' मा घर हुने लाई जिन्दगी मा केही न केही गर्नु छ । अनी त्यो 'केही न केही' गर्न लाई बिदेश आउनु नै एउटा समाधान हो । तेस्पछी, आको एक दुई बर्ष नयाँ ठाउँमा रुमलिदा रुमलीदै जान्छ । एक लट 'भिसा रिनु' गर्दा धन्नै ४ बर्ष बित्छ । तेस्पछी एक दुई बर्ष अझ बिताउनी बितिक्कै 'टिआर' 'पिआर' , यो जाती, त्यो जाती ।

'दीस इज बिट डिसअप्पोइन्टिङ आइ एम अफ्रैड !!!......To be Continued :)

महशूस

एक्कासी मलाई आभास भयो,

कतै तिम्रो आँशु त झरेन !

बाहिर छाती बादल हुँदै छ

भित्र चिसो पटक्कै मरेन ।

एक्कासी मलाई आभास भयो,

कतै तिम्रो आँशु त झरेन !

मनको मरुभुमी भित्र आज

अचानक ताप घटे जस्तो भयो

गर्मी त उस्तै थियो

र पनि एकखाले, अर्कै तमास भयो

म सोंच्दै छु,

कतै तिम्रो आँशु त झरेन !

बाहिरी ताप र भित्री चिसो बिचको

समिकरण पटक्कै मिलेको छैन

कारण सामान्य छ !

तिमी बाहाना जो बनाउछौ !

बहाना आँफु बनाई तिमी

प्याजलाई ब्यार्थ दोश नदेउ

नयन किन भिज्छ त्यसै

धेरै साउन देखेको छु

एक्कासी मलाई आभास भयो

कतै तिम्रो आँशु त झरेन

बाहिरी छाती बादल हुँदै छ

भित्र चिसो पट्क्कै मरेन

For Those Who 'Pretend-To-Be or 'Not-To-Be' !

Bhaktaram was exhausted from the whole day walk & ride of his daily schedules and this Friday was bit different. As soon as he entered the doorstep, he told his mom that he would eat his dinner himself after the light came and laid himself lying on the bed in the pitch-black dark room. This habit of sitting quiet or lying in the dark in his own isolation was quite old since one of his good friends advised. In those school days his friend advised him that if an individual can think and analyze for 30 minutes over his whole day activities and draw a conclusion whether it was a good day or a bad one, then the chances are very high for that person to achieve quicker success in life. Since then, he made this 'good habit' of contemplating over almost every bits and pieces of events of the day, imaginary thoughts and draw some philosophical conclusion. Lucky him ! the power cut this evening was available for bit longer hours than yesterday to think, memorize, analyze and summarize the moral of the story of that day. However, on the other hand, it confused him sometimes whether this habit was leading him towards the success or frustration; God knows or himself... But, he knew that he din't have to pay anything to memorize the daily activities.

It was almost 6 am and was getting late for his morning shift college. He did not want to miss his first period  since it was his favorite subject 'Finance' taught by his favorite teacher Mr. Regmi. His day job starting from 10:00 am would hardly allow him to take 3 periods in the college since he had to manage the time to sign in before 9:45 am in a private boarding school. On a bicycle he bought after 6 months saving, he was riding through the misty road in the dusky-dawn to college that was in distance of 3.5 km from home. He was paddling as quickly as possible so that he could enter the class room before the lecture would satire him as a 'Tourist'.

The morning time these days in winter around the village had added two extra reasons to be more enjoyable and walkable for the well-prospered-cum-'Bhunde' people and the youngsters. The first was; newly constructed large cemented bridge near the high way river and the black top pitched-road in the village which allowed people to walk on the pitch road without stumbling on stones and eventually do some push-ups and stretching those funky-bums-and-thighs. The second reason of this morning-jogging-trend was for the youngsters that gave them one more attraction of dating for couples, moving to the corners of bush around the bridge, temple and the primary school nearby. Some people in their late forties had even more exciting reason of waking up early with the juvenile-vibes in the heart and walking down the road to get rid of their wrinkled-wives and talk freely with their mobile-made girl friends on a mobile phone gifted by their son  in western countries and the middle east. One of them was, 'Bohora Uncle' that Bhaktaram used to see almost every morning in his way to college. The plugged-in-man in his slow pace, talking as softly as possible, greening with abrupt giggling and blushing the upper chicks at times, had better life then he ever had before in his peasant life. He educated his eldest son up to 12th standard and sent to Korea at his early twenties by selling a piece of land. Now, his eldest son, after 8 years, has made enough money to educate his brothers and even sent one to America and younger one to Australia. This morning, the power cut had its morning shift turn until 10:00 am and the road was even darker and mistier than yesterdays.

''What the hell ! Bloody blind ! Oh my legs !... Listen, I will call back in a while, somebody banged his bicycle on my body!'' The uncle suddenly shouted loudly.

Bhaktaram, unknowingly felt a smile in his lips in his dark room by remembering the painful and scary expression of the same old man he hit with his bicycle. Though he was riding very carefully, it really was hard to ride without using the pre-caution of some sort which made him give a "trriing-trriing trriing-trriing" at all times from his handled-bell ring. Unfortunately, the old man this morning had plugged his both ears and was unable to hear or listen other than the voice coming from other end of his smart phone.

Oh Uncle ! I am sorry, I am really sorry... I din't see you coming and I din't see the road... But, why din't you hear the bell ring ? Surprisingly, Uncle was more tensed for the disrupted conversation with his girlfriend rather than the slow-paced bicycle accident which din't injure him physically rather it was just an instant fear of his aging psychology.

''It's okay Bhakte. I was on a 'muubile-talk' and I had my ears shut." Old man showed his consideration.

'Who were you talking with Uncle?' Bhakte tried to sound friendly with the lover boy!

"None...no one! I I was just talking to the tractor owner if he could come to plough my field" Man of forties completely twisted and continued, "But, why don't you listen to my advise and move away from this country son ! You are educated, smart and your 'Eenglees' is also so good. Why don't you talk with my son and tell him to help you. He is even your best friend and you know, he always asks about you !

Bohora uncle for quite a while, was trying to convince Bhaktaram to give a try for USA visa and was even lobbying to Bhaktaram's father to persuade him. But, Bhaktaram had his own reason of not trying to obtain any visa and move away.

'I know uncle. Baalkrishna was also telling me the same thing yesterday when he called me. But, he knows well about me that I am not willing to go to any country. 'I would rather prefer to live in my own country and look after my parents. You know that Dad has got asthma and Mom keeps suffering her knees-pain at times. Why would I need to go to America now ? I am happy here and one day you will see that I will become a well known person."

After listening Bhaktaram, uncle would easily feel the reality and ask him just an one-liner question, "Are you really happy in this country Bhakte ?" In the dark room, Bhaktaram suddenly felt his eyes jumping down towards his folded-knees in the bed by remembering the question of his best friend's father this morning.

Mr. Regmi asked him a mockery question as soon as he entered the class room five minutes late, "Bhaktaram, do you think the internal tourists will increase in 2011 which is going to be celebrated by Nepal as a Tourism year?" He knew that Mr. Regmi's was not expecting any answer of actual assumptions with relative reasons regarding Tourism year but it was just a satire of his late entry.

'No Sir'. He thought he should answer him in the same way this morning, "If the hosts will not change the behavior towards the Tourists, their reasons of visit and stop showing useless concern, then the tourist will never increase in any year." Bhaktaram din't care whether the whole class got the meaning of that short, yet meaningful, conversation or not but he thought he needed to answer accordingly that gave him a compliment from his friend, Anuradha, who smiled and whispered back, 'Good one yar'. In return, he just gave a smile and opened his bag.

'Where are the guys ?' Bhaktaram Whispered Anuradha after opening his bag.

'They are in Canteen. Subodh also got visa for Australia yesterday and throwing the Party in the canteen of Baaje. He told me to wait until you come. Let's go now'. Anuradha hinted her willingness to join the party instantly.

'I am fine. You can go if you wish.' Bhaktaram tried to pretend.

'You won't understand anything about today's class. It's Micro finance and guys are already in the party. So, let's go.' She almost told him the decision.

He knew that there is no more way to keep pretending. Moreover, he had already missed his daily diet of smoke and tea before he entered the classroom caused by the accident.

'You know, I am also going to get visa decision by the evening today. Why don't you think about it positively. I had got the offline message of Baalkrishna from US yesterday that he was trying his best to find the scholarship for you. Why don't you send those scanned documents to him ?' Anuradha was almost pissed off by convincing him to try abroad study. But, Bhaktaram had always same reason to tell that 'he had his own reason.'

'I am not going to make my father sell the land he accumulated by his toil and enjoy my personal happiness. I know that I also can go to abroad and prosper myself, but I am not unknown that my parents need me.' He replied.

'Come on Bhakta. Don't try to overshadow your personal reason in the name of your parents' need. Your Dad is not a serious asthma patient. He can still work in garden and allotment on his own and Mom has knees-pain once in a blue moon.' Anuradha showed her frustration and continued "Moreover, there is your cousin at your home who can take care them very well in your absence too. The fact is that, you are still angry with Baalkrishna for the reason that he blamed your definition of patriotism is classic !! The other  reason is that he applied for visa without telling you. But, it's fine. He din't want to tell you because you would not let him do that if he told you. So, why don't you just try an understand positively and send him the documents for your scholarship ? ' They reached canteen before the conversation reached conclusion.

"Hey...there you go !!! My dear 'Bee' is here', Subodh greeted him with friendly love.

'Congratulation Subodh. I am really happy for you yar. ' Bhakta responded in a same way.

'Thanks Bhakta. Let's ignite the fags. 'Baaje, Surya Churot dinu chaar wota. Ani daami Chiya.'

'Khurukka tyo beer ko can bag maa raakh paila ani chiya dinchhu' Baaje demanded peace on the boys' early morning jamming mood! 

In the dark room tonight, Bhakta really was thinking and sinking in the whole circumstances of his thought. He was not able to decide whether he should try Abroad or not. He was not able to believe that it will be a right decision if he will go to USA by selling a piece of land. But, he also knew that it would make no difference for his parents and specially his Dad who had accumulated enough fixed assets. A piece of land for his only Son's interest would mean nothing to his Dad. But, Mom will surely be a saddest creature in the world since he was a beloved and pampered kiddo of hers. The mercury-light of his watch was flashing  green and showing the time almost 10:00 pm. He picked up the mobile phone, pressed the unlock button. Then he opened the grid view menu and pressed the inbox of his message. He kept scrolling down the messages until he got the last one sent by Baalkrishna before he flew to America that read,

"Dear Kale, jaadai chhu... Tara Man khusi chhaina... Khusi hos pani kasari, jaba ki ma pailo patak katai jaadai chhu Ta binaa-ekdum Eklai..... Aba cycle liyera ghumdai hidne, dui-choti farkera herne keti le aafai lai mann paraako daabi garne, filter churot napaayera Deuraali Churot mai kaam chalaauune ani Vok laako tod maa paani sanga Paauroti khaane din haru yaad mai simit hunchha bujis.....Mero flight ko time huna laagyo yar...I will continue this message via email as soon as I land in US hai...Take Care.....

Bhakta sank into nostalgia and felt immense pleasure to remember all those bygone days they enjoyed together.... He remembered the incidence when he had broken the hand of one 'Tharu Boy' for the reason of beating his best friend. They were roaming around the corners of villages to have secured place to smoke and a gang of Tharu guys had interrupted their plan.

In the dark room, he remembered how Subodh's treat of visa made him late to reach the school. He got rid from the boys in very strict condition that he would join the party at sharp 3 pm this afternoon and drink the whole glass of beer at one sip!

He remembered the Principal of the school giving him a twisted-word this afternoon in the classroom, ' "Bhaktaram Ji, k ko bhakti maa hunuhunchha aajkal?"

'Shiva Bhakti maa sir'. He answered with ample sense of humor.

'Any problem sir ?' Principal showed the formality.

'Advise me honestly sir. Do you think, it will be right decision to go to abroad and leave the country ?' He was genuinely seeking advise because he wanted to hear the view from his principal who was politically leftist.

'Bhakta Sir, going abroad is not leaving your country. It means different if you look at it differently. Instead, not coming back to the country can be an example of not showing the love to your country which still doesn't mean that you are not patriotic to your country. It doesn't matter if you go, come back and bring the change by bringing change in yourself.' Principal got nice subject to give lecture today!

'Thank you sir. ' He was satisfied with the answer.

Then the rest of the day, he had enjoyed Subodh's party...drank enough beer and missed Baalkrishna, his best friend whom he also called 'Baal' with love.

It was only few minutes left to be 10:00 pm... He suddenly wanted to re-read the email of his best friend again, which Baal sent him as soon as he reached USA. He connected internet on his mobile phone and open the email box now.

'Dear Kaale, Ma USA aaipuge....Room maa Nepali keta haru pani raichha tanna.... Tara ma chai aafnai room maa eklai basi raachhu... just connected the internet and fired a first smoke without you..... This stick  of fag is definitely feeling lonely too.....Anyway, let me continue what I wanted to tell you before...

"Taile vaneko hoina yo jindagi yaadai-yaad ko poko ho jun haami aaja varchhau ani budeshkaal maa kunai rukh-muni basera hukka or chilim taandai tehi poko kholdai ramai rahanchau !!! Feri kina, euta Naya yaad ani naya anubhav sangaalna pachhi hatne ? K jaruri chha ghar-pariwar ko reason dina ? Ghar ko manchhe haru ta sabai le aafno chhora-chhori le naya anubhav, gyaan ra seep sikera kehi naya garna sakun vanne chahaanchhan ni... Patriotism ko naam maa Bidesh jaana hunna vanne bahaana thhik ho ta ? Saala, sab Neta haru Desh ko paisa barbaad garera 'Bidesh' nai ta ghumchhan ! For different reasons of trainings, seminars....blaah blaah blaah... Feri ta haami bidesh jaana laageko Masti garna maatra ta hoina ni Kale ! We just go to abroad to see the system , learn new things, come back to our own country and try to implement things in a better way so that we could be the reason of some change around our own circumstances..... You can't, at least, trust the present political situation and the corrupted leaders to bring change at your home Man ! Come'n be positive. I know you are sad with me...but you know the reason. Now, don't just get stuck in confusion...I need you now....You need me now.... and our Country will need both of us one day when we have something to contribute to our Nation... What the F*** will you offer your country when you are naked!!!....Patriotism doesn't mean to contribute the frustration and it absolutely doesn't mean to becoming a victim of corrupted politics..... More precisely, Take it this way : If you come now, then someone will go back to the country from here...and When it will be our time to go back to the country, then may be some one else will be coming to the abroad... But, keep in mind that everybody loves his/her country and everyone has to go back regardless of anything...Simple truth is that we can never be like someone who is not a Nepali... So, we can never stop being Nepali regardless of whatever status you obtain here... Because our identity is Nepali my dear Kale...

Take Care and I hope you will think about it. Please convey my Love and Regards to Canteen ko Baaje, Mandir ko Jogi-Buda and his wife, Bhatti ko Saailee Vauju and our Finance Lecture... He really was true when he said that the 'Financial Freedom of an Individual' is very important.

The light came exactly at 10:00 pm... At least, there is Timing system of Electricity in the country which is systematic !

Bhaktaram switched on the computer and checked if all the scanned documents were still saved in the personal folder in E-drive of his computer. He saw them all saved.

His Mom brought a glass of milk for him and was still insisting to eat something before he slept...He couldn't speak anything...He just nodded his head and kept on watching at his mom imagining, 'Who might be there to 'insist' his best friend 'Baalkrishna' to eat something before he slept!!!

The radio in the father's room was playing a lovely song....'Chhadera kaam saara, ek kaam rojji rahechhu...Yo desh maa Ma euta..aa.a.aa...Maanis khoji rahechhu''.....lallalalallaallaaa...

The needle sticks of the watch are smiling as the Nepali Time on the Watch is now 10:10 pm... and Bhakte suddenly felt an emotional urgency within himself to hug his mom tight. Who knows he might miss his mom s 

“Page Three of GPK”

Today is the 3rd day of lost-day in Nepali Political Scenarios. Lost on the basis of verbal grief spoken by pivotal political leaders and written by separated forums. Scenarios have categories and the categories have political parties. Not even the sentiment has consoled cool till today and has started the quarrels of leader-humans. Just like the way the dogs bark for bones. Government-greedy & scared of possible disappearance from political ground, the UML party has announced an official press release with the calling to bring peace process into an end. The President of the party himself also opened his itching mouth for the reset of High Level of Political Mechanism. The Congress, sounding emotionally possessive, is surmising the sole right of directing same peace process into an end again. Where as the Vice-President of Maoist has also not left a chance of his speech right. But, sounding little bit different, has the politician claimed his part upon the same fight of grabbing a credit from people to renew the political image. And my surprise about the nature of human being has again irritated me tonight. Suddenly felt wondering how had that Butcher I met on the day of GP Koirala’s death, been chopping the neck of those goats for the whole day in his slaughter house. But, I am sure whatever had been doing must have been doing with an exact human nature of silence at the time of work!

Is it the time to act in a way one should act as a politician? Is it not the religion of the leaders to act on the problem with a hint of solution? Why is an announcement of a press release with the same bloody stinking slogan? What’s so special in that calling notice right after the pure commitment in front of the burning senior? Can it be something what it is supposed to be so? With the sense of guilt or correction, whatsoever, does that really contain the address on an issue? Well, I felt not, not and just not like that as a people if it is for the people. Rather, I felt it is the time to act as a politician with service-motive-religion and appeal to take a deserving space for all the larger and smaller parties in the government. Rather, I felt that, doing so would let the oppositions feel that the greed is not something their concern is but the concern is an initiation of a solution and fulfillment of the commitment made in front of the holy graveyard at Pashupatinath . And it is we, the people, who would return their sacrifice with trust and votes as a credit again. What the F..u.. I mean fraustration... At the same time something hit my mind again, “probably that guy was in his professional ethics while chopping the meat into medium sizes according to the customer’s demand!’ I remembered the same butcher.

The spokesman of the Congress Party has said, “It is none other than congress who only can lead the Mechanism as a mediator of present political misunderstandings. Hence, it has to be the Vice President of Congress or whosoever from congress to lead the high level of political mechanism for the sole purpose of peace”. This, however, has also not given a positive hint of urged mentality & natural responsibility for the solution on the deteriorating clash. What should have been spoken by the leader at this juncture of time? Was that what they really meant in the commitment made in the chariot of that dead body? Saying, I love my father and I love my mother’s husband is different. How one speaks shows what he has in his mental intention and the background. And whatever has been announced by Congress on the third day of their Leader’s death shows an absolute political color of these 3G politicians. They should have said that let’s sit together and decide who deserves what in this critical moment. Let’s work with an ethic in the same way we begged from the people mugging up our slogans. Let’s let the people feel like a ‘citizen’ now. Don’t they have this much of knowledge to think that the moment is not to claim the position in anyway rather it is the time to announce a polite appeal that would abide all in a same circle. Why is it so difficult for them to accept their real ground? The congress party should understand if, announcing such statement will give other parties to feel the flexible mindset on the issue or not. What they were supposed to do was just to chop the meat into pieces according to the customer’s demand like a butcher does. It’s we, the people again, who are their customers and we demand a solution. Who would want to buy the long-frozen meat from the dirty slaughter house while the butcher has to serve the freshness?

The vice president of Maoist spoke on the same day for the same issue of leading the mechanism into their direction. But, whatever he spoke on the issue had little bit more flexibility than others did. He said, “We had offered GP Koirala to become a coordinator of mechanism because he was more experienced and respected as a leader of Nepali political history. However, it was not our concern that be belonged to congress party. At this point of time, we all should discuss and come into a conclusion for the best way out on the problem rather than claiming the position right away.” This statement has at least some sense of positive mindset or willingness and tribute to the respected politician of the country. Yes, Maoist had made a mistake while being in the government by getting out from the government themselves because of their own inexperienced and arrogant steps. But, should we not accept that they are the largest party of the country? Is it not the responsibility of even congress to accept that Maoists, now, have become far more flexible as a political party than just a jungle rebel? While, something they wanted about the Army General did not happen then they had shown the morality by resigning from the government. Has any Prime Minister shown that decency in the political history of Nepal by resigning from the government for such reasons of morality before? Let’s not talk about the prime minister and just take an example of the ministers. Has any minister felt guilty and ashamed of his/her deed and shunned the ministerial position? No way! At least, I don’t remember anyone doing so individually on the moral ground. Not all the butchers can feel vice versa on the scapegoats. Some may, also, feel that there might be somebody else in the world around to slaughter them back.

It is saddening and shameful to write these realities just on the 3rd day of GPK’s death because we, the people, are expecting the natural nexus in between the words & actions of the politicians. People sometimes make a big mistake by calling some politicians as the Leaders which is not that acceptable. If GPK was a leader for those politicians then let people see the learning of culture, service and sacrifice and feel that in the practice. Then only, it is going to be the holy tribute for the leader. Don’t talk about demand, don’t talk about the arrogance and don’t come up with the self-centered political logics for the good of one party only. Talk about the solution, bring the options and conclude by patting each others with a warning glance as a chance given & chance taken. Then only the roaming soul of GPK will get rid in a real meaning. Then only can people get a chance to read and write about his pure emancipation on the Page Three onwards.

Bishnu Puri